“Harold” has an “import, dual action potato masher” which well, I just went right ahead and peed myself all over the kitchen floor because even though I could have tried to fight it and I have routinely exercise my kegels, I knew that the enormity of this invention would overpower me and there was no use putting off the inevitable.
How many times do you open THAT drawer and find the potato masher and then there are like two different type and you can’t ever remember buying either of them?
I think that the alien in charge of human weddings just gifts us with free potato mashers. Like you get married, you consummate, and voila the potato mashers just appear in your drawers. You take one of the men here and you get potato mashers – like a set of Ginsu Steak Knives only not as sharp. It’s a gift bag from Mother Nature. If you think about it, and I do, a whole lot, it’s like it’s the universe wanting to give you every tool you need to experience success in your marriage. Don’t argue with me, it’s true! No-one anywhere has ever broken up a marriage and cited the lack of proper potato mashing tools as the reason.
EVERYONE has the same equal chance at perfect mashed potatoes. Perfect mashed potatoes = perfect happy marriage … EXCEPT it is such a vital, crucial question, WHICH ONE do you use?
Well Harold, who has never married because he dedicated his life to the service of others and their marriages via potato mashing, has solved that now … the two are glue gunned together and you used them both at the same time!
You should like be on top of your desk screaming like you just won the lottery.
Only this is better.
Don’t stop until everyone is gathered around your desk and someone climbs up there with you and tries to talk you out of jumping. Then tell them and get out of the way because everyone will want to get up on the desk and do the happy dance.
Have I made your day or what? You probably should have the afternoon off on account of the all this excitement has your heart racing …
You can stop on your way home and return that sexy lingerie you bought to save your marriage. You have dual action now!!
Oh wait, if you got as excited as I did . . . you probably need that lingerie.