bpbb1

My grandfather brought some peacocks back with him from an auction sale once. We didn’t have the shopping channel when I was growing up, but if we had, and my grandfather could have figured out a way to trade chickens and cows for steak knives and comfort bras … he would have so been into the whole thing.

I don’t think he noticed that the guy selling the peacock looked like a crack addict even though it would be years before anyone invented crack … or that he dropped the birds off and ran back to his truck … or that there were drool marks all down his shirt and a hole in one elbow of his shirt that was definitely gnawed through with human teeth … my grandfather was not very observant, which actually explains a lot about how we got away with so much growing up.

He bought the birds.

He got them for a song.  No-one else even bid.  They were much more observant and were not easily mesmerized by some turquoise feathers.

I think it might not have been so bad had someone said the night before, “this is going to be the last night of decent sleep you are going to get for months.”  I mean we might have felt at least prepared.

But my grandfather came home and released them into the woods behind the house.  How romantic … peacocks in the forest.  I think he was hoping bridal magazines might ignore the cows and flock to our farm for the poetry of it all.

They didn’t.

Some of the neighbours did though.  Evidently they weren’t sleeping either.

Peacocks don’t sing.  They basically scream …. a lot.  Constantly.  Like endlessly.  Non Stop.  It is really annoying.    We had 3 cats disappear, last seen heading into the forest.  Not even the coyotes could overcome the noise to get close enough to eat them.  In fact, we couldn’t even find them.  We searched everywhere but it was a big forest and they were always quiet until we got our gear off and were back inside … then they would begin again.  Peacock screams can be very condescending and mocking . . . like they know exactly what they are doing.

Driving mankind insane.

Even the cows threatened to Stampede, they wouldn’t let down their milk.

Grandma threatened to burn down the forest.

I never knew exactly how they got rid of those things.  I just know we went to school one day and when we got home everything was quiet.  The air was thick with the smell of burnt goat and the witches were packing their robes and their cauldrons into the back of a van ….

Advertisements