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Life On The Naughty Chair

I'm the reason they started prayers in school. I'm also the proof that prayer is not enough.

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are you freaking kidding me

Pinda Piper Pinned a Pin. Pinda Piper’s In the Bin!

pinter poke

Poor Pinda, she had no idea that some pinning is considered a sin, worthy of excommunication from the Church of Pinterest.

I have a suggestion for all the people on Pinterest who are so freaking panicked about other people pinning “their” pins.   Clearly they are beyond distressed about how many pins other peoples repin and so they post all kind of posters warning those people they will be blocked (as in not able to look at or take their pins anymore).  I tried to talk to a couple of them off the ledge and explain the pictures they collect are not really “theirs” (in most instances).   They did not make the item, nor do they own what is shown in the picture. Continue reading “Pinda Piper Pinned a Pin. Pinda Piper’s In the Bin!”

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Are You Freaking Kidding Me Looks at Internet Dating/Mating Advice

dating

A while ago I read an article from a guy who was giving women tips on what men are like.  He made them sound like completely mindless douche canoes.  According to him men are incapable of knowing what they want and women should play these games with him because he gets reeled in by a woman’s butt or her breasts and it is up to women to then know how to play mind games with him.  As a woman reading that I am thinking, why would any woman put up the effort?  I have not heard from the guy since.  I am anticipating that A:  either a bunch of men found him and “requested” he stop typing or “permanently banned” him for keyboards, talking, drawing pictures, or making any motions with his hands that could be considered communication, B:  a bunch of women found him, reeled him in and he is sitting on a couch somewhere drinking beer and scratching himself while his “wife” maxes out his credit card, or C:  His mother found him in he basement and beat him senseless. Continue reading “Are You Freaking Kidding Me Looks at Internet Dating/Mating Advice”

It’s October, Do You Know Where Your Elf Is?

shelf elf

Talk about a slippery slope.

Lies tend to snowball all over themselves. I mean ok, who could have looked ahead and known that one day we would have malls and a whole lot of explaining to do. Who could have known we would be so mobile and have the ability to attend several malls in one Christmas season and that even kids with hired math tutors could add up that one “Santa” standing in front of the mall entrance, plus another Santa IN the mall , and yet another Santa in the big department store, equals too many Santa’s and a big BS on the parental story meter. Continue reading “It’s October, Do You Know Where Your Elf Is?”

The Art of Slambooking.

Slambooking

Facebook has become a very unsafe place to be . . . so much so that usage should come with a free delivered pack of protective gear.

First there are the taunts from Facebook itself  . . . “Aria has 0 friends, come on guys help Aria find friends, may we suggest your mailing lists from your email accounts? How about your christmas card list? Your mother’s christmas card list? Are you able to break the code on the company computer and upload the employee list? Are there any names scratched on the cubicle you are currently sitting in?” Continue reading “The Art of Slambooking.”

I Am Resigning as a Mother.

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ok … THAT is it.  I am officially handing in my mother tap dance shoes and withdrawing my name from the local butcher’s Mother of the Year contest and my chance to win a meat platter.  THAT is how strongly I feel about this.  I am almost completely Australian now and let me tell you … Australians NEVER pass on the chance to win a free meat platter. Continue reading “I Am Resigning as a Mother.”

Farmer’s Only????

Ok, my daughter just posted this to me on FakeBook and evidently it is for real.  Like do they really think farmers need encouragement to inbreed?  Have you ever been to a farming community?  Everyone married their neighbour’s kid and then stays there and has kids and they marry their neighbour’s kids and they stay there and have kids and well … do I have to paint a picture for you? Continue reading “Farmer’s Only????”

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