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Life On The Naughty Chair

I'm the reason they started prayers in school. I'm also the proof that prayer is not enough.

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now I’m just being ridiculous

The Food Group Lady Died.

cinnamon buns with love

Cinnamon buns are a food group.

Evidently the food group monitor died about 30 years ago and no-one noticed and so I coloured and bedazzled myself a nifty name tag proclaiming me the “Food Group Monitor of the World” and I felt it was time to discover a new group.   Cinnamon buns … part of a healthy diet. Well not a “diet diet” like a “losing weight diet,” but a diet as in “you eat it so it is part of your diet.”  Feel free to direct any questions to me.

I made some a couple weekends ago and everyone was eating them for breakfast, lunch and dinner. They were telling me they were eating a balanced diet because they had one in each hand and a lot of the time they would drink milk with them. Some people were drinking coffee and well, they are going to die toothless, with weak bones and bags under their eyes because of their lack of sleep so you can’t blame that one on the cinnamon bun. At least they will be awake when they die which means they have a better chance of passing the “get into heaven test” . . . and that will just be one more blessing of my cinnamon buns.

Everyone went crazy over my buns. One of my friends said it was like they were coated with heroin or something, she just could not stop eating them. Continue reading “The Food Group Lady Died.”

It’s Raining Kitties.

kitties

Sometimes life kicks the romance right out of you.  Too much information can do that to you.

Take weddings.

City girls love the idea of stepping out of the church and someone releases a bunch of white doves that flutter off into the sky.  I think it is supposed to represent her virginity has just flown the coop never to be seen again or something like that.  I would think, as her parents stand there and see the doves going all over the place and in different directions that they might be a bit concerned, but maybe some people can hold their symbolism in check.

I can’t. Continue reading “It’s Raining Kitties.”

Social Media and the Pioneers and My Out Of Control Thoughts.

SOCIAL MEDIA AND THE PIONEERS

You know I have said it before that Twitter is for twits and yes, I am on it, thank you very much.

Hey when my mom used to argue with my statement “everybody else is doing it,” and she would ask, “well if your friends all wanted to go jump off a cliff would you do it too?”

“Yes!”

It is better to be dead piled on top of the most popular kids in school then standing alive on the top of the cliff alone. Continue reading “Social Media and the Pioneers and My Out Of Control Thoughts.”

DeProgramming Sheep Video.

I am pretty sure this is the video they use to deprogramme people who have been rescued from the flocks where they are being kept prisoner. It is the final insult. You think you looked ridiculous with a dog herding you? They were controlling you with a rabbit. Most people break at that point and hang their head in deep shame.

All over the world people are rescuing their loved ones from the sheep cults. They sneak in at night and grab them. Yes, I know what you are thinking, how do they know they have the right one, they all look the same. It is true, but if you are missing a brother and you get a sister by mistake you just have to be thankful. The Priest blesses that you tried. Continue reading “DeProgramming Sheep Video.”

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